Thoughts for New Fathers

Hi this is Adam, father of two beautiful children and husband half of the mom & pop Milky Way equation. I certainly haven’t figured it all out yet (or probably ever will), but maybe I’ve discovered a few tricks and strategies that might be of help to you new fathers. These aren’t tried and true, patented pieces of advice, rather just some things I found that enriched my fathering experience or things that made the awesome task of parenting a little bit easier. I’ll keep posting things as I discover them.

Take ‘em for what they’re worth:

• Attempt to accept (it can be really hard) that your baby will be mommy-obsessed for at least the first 2 – 3 months. You will hardly appear on his/her radar those first few months. But don’t take it personally. S/he’ll come around, and if you hang in there and give him/her as much care and affection as you can, you’ll soon find your way into his/her heart (in no time). But, at first, it’s easy to get jealous and frustrated and worry that you’ll never have a deep bond with your child; but you will if you give the time and effort. It just won’t come right away like it will with the baby’s mother.
• During those first few mommy-obsessed months, keep reminding yourself that your baby has just spent the last 9 months literally being a part of his/her mother. Then, after your infant is born, your baby only needs to eat and sleep. Its mom is best at providing the food and the comfort for sleep. Your baby doesn’t even know at this point that s/he’s But when your baby “wakes up” and realizes there’s more out there than a milk-filled breast, s/he will notice you and you will become a big part of his/her life. Believe me – it’s worth the wait.
• I noticed that one of my daughter’s first interactions with the outside worth (at about 2 months old) was a two-dimensional black & white drawing of a face on the underside of her mobile above her changing table. She actually would get giddy with delight at seeing this face. I figured to get myself noticed I’d stick my mug in roughly the same place when Josephine was lying on her back on our bed. She smiled at me, cooed at me, made raspberries at me and entertained me for a good 15 minutes before she needed another diversion. The mobile: $14.95. The changing table: $40. The changing pad: $9.95. My first major interaction with my daughter: Priceless.
• My bonding with Josephine began about the same time my wife, Wooten, took our son, Zeke, to see Shrek II. Just the two of them. Leaving a very scared daddy (that’s me!) and Josephine home alone for over 2 hours. Just me and a little baby who has been a high-needs baby and refuses to take milk from anything but my wife’s breast. I played my guitar for Josie for awhile. I took a bath with her for awhile. I walked her for a while. I let her enjoy her mobile for awhile. We took a nap together for awhile. And after that we were best buds. Moral of this story: Find some time to be alone with your baby! S/He won’t forget it.
• Music. Both of my kids love music. Classical is okay, but what they really love is music with a beat. Zeke and I really enjoyed a Music Together class that we both loved. Zeke now has his own set of percussion instruments and loves to bang away with them. We have enjoyed hours and hours rockin’ out together with air guitars and real guitars (mostly used as drums, of course).